I only feel emptiness, loneliness and hopelessness that flows down through my veins and help me to process the words and let it spill
When I’m hurt I can write better.
I don’t know now why I’m letting myself to stay alive. But I do know this, right this moment, I’m just lost.
For every tear that running down from my eyes to my lips I taste and enjoy the pain. The pain of being alone. If I will get everything that I wanted I will be more selfish. So sometimes I accept the failures and hopeless as I deserved it.
What hurts me every single day is that, this is not me. The reason why I can’t live my inner self is also because of my own self, my self-consciousness. I imprisoned myself. I know how to be free but I can’t choose it because of myself, because of people.
How I wished dying is easy, so anyone can do it and have the courage to do it. Not as an escape but as a choice. The more I feel of wanting and needing to die the more I believe…
Today, I have an obligation to do for our business but I want to do it with a numb feeling and only alcohol can give me that.
It’s been a week of being depressed about my life. There was three nights that I was scared to sleep and lose my breath but there’s this one night that I was so empty and didn’t care if I lose…
Thanks to God for not giving me financial blessing that will lift my heart today. Because I know and understand that even if he bless me, I won’t glorify him. He can’t use me. Just now, I had a bad…
Among all beautiful and eye-catching titles or topics, I chose ‘Suicidal Mind’ because that is what I have and that is where I am fully related.
‘Suicidal Mind’ that’s what kind of mind I have. A mind of a weak, a coward, a fool, a underserving and a sinner.