Suicidal Mind vol. 13

Suicidal Mind vol. 13

What depressing me every single day to live is to be with and live with lazy, and insensitive people. This is truly hard for me because I feel everything and they act like nothing is happening, that there is no problem. No matter how much I try to tell them, they still don’t understand.

Suicidal Mind vol. 13
Suicidal Mind vol. 13

How I wish they know that I tried to poisoned myself, that I drink a lot when I’m so depressed because of them, that I tried to cut, that a lot of times I think about death and my death. That there are chaos inside of my head when I’m hurt, when I’m failed, when I’m broken, when I’m lonely, when I’m hopeless. I guess, those things will bury with me.

Knowing my bestfriend have a facebook account and have a wonderful and blessed life, made me feel like I don’t have to worry about her anymore. And I feel like there’s a narrow door opened for me. A door to a place where I can go and find comfort.

Connecting again with a man whom can be my brother brought a simple happiness in my heart. I don’t know what kind of man he is, what he think of what kind of person I am, I don’t even care. What I believe is this, He and my best friend are my blessings.

Suicidal Mind vol. 13
Suicidal Mind vol. 13

No matter how hopeless I’m feeling, no matter how heavy the pain I carry each day, no matter how I wanted to die and disappear, no matter how much I want to hurt myself and destroy my body, there’s always unknown feeling I feel inside of me that gives me a reason to live for one more day, though sometimes I can’t understand that feeling.

 

 

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