‘Suicidal Mind’ that’s what kind of mind I have. A mind of a weak, a coward, a fool, a underserving and a sinner.
When I’m hurt, broken, failed, have sinned or lost someone I loved, the chaos inside my head begins. I imagine random things about death. And I feel a serious feeling inside of me that one day my fear will disappear. The fear the I feel to cut my wrist and lose my breath are my greatest fear in life. Cutting my wrist and get drown under the sea or under water is the hardest suicide I can imagine, even jumping on a roof or on a high building or in an accident.
I know my weaknesses and I know the strength of my pain. An angry person can hurt and a broken person can die.
I love to write and share about my suicide thoughts, my pain and other useless thoughts. But I will love more to know your thoughts about your pain too and/or to my thoughts.
*Sharing my suicide thoughts is just my way of letting ‘someone who is a suicidal too’ know that she’s not alone. I’m not encouraging anyone to commit suicide. I write on my own way, own words, own thoughts and own pain. Maybe not the people surrounds or the people from your family in blood don’t understand you but somewhere, somehow, someone will care for you, will understand you, will accept you and uplift you. I just want to write my pain. I may not have or will never ever have rewards or benefits on everything I do but someone will have and that may be you. I hope the benefit that you get from my blog is strength, or peace or comfort.*