I’m giving up.
I can’t stop myself from thinking and feeling everything. I don’t want to wish to feel nothing at all, which is the worst.
Comments from readers didn’t gave me compliments no matter how beautiful their words are. My pain is greater. I don’t know and I can’t spend a little time thinking what everybody’s feeling about my writing or about my blog.
To A Thousand Years.. It’s actually a good song, especially the meaning but rythm is ticking in my head it makes me think what I have to think. I can’t ignore everything. I really feel the pain.
Myself. To follow every small voices of hope in my heart.
But I will leave all my thanks to the one created me. To the one who never failed to give me chances. Every time I fail, I push him away because he is not God of Failure. I acknowledge him all of my plans and he part of everything but when failure happens, I push him always. I blame the failures to myself. Which is the right thing to do.
Ways to death.
“I never had a good plan without you, Jesus. You never failed me. I failed myself, I failed because of myself, I failed because I’m a failure. I failed because I’m a sinner. Undeserving in every part of your body and will. I’m failure because… because.. never ending because..”